Tuesday, 14 April 2015

A Sense of Peace and Gratefulness.

I was laying in bed (watching bad for me reality TV) while fighting a bit of a cold/allergies this weekend.  The hubs was working hard turning his old art studio into the nursery and I was over come with this amazing sense of gratefulness. 

It's a feeling that I am a bit sorry to say I haven't had much of lately.  The whole act of "trying" to get pregnant (over 2 years) and also using a fertility clinic left me with less of a feeling of gratefulness and more of a feeling of failure and hopelessness.

Having a baby was something that I never really wanted in my life, but it was something that the Hubs has ALWAYS wanted.  There were lots of times that I had the thought that since I didn't want a baby before maybe that's why we weren't getting pregnant now.  And once we got our little one I have had a very difficult pregnancy.

But I have made my peace with my pregnancy troubles (and really since the vomiting has stopped it's been a LOT easier), and accepting that things are really not going to go the way that I want them to things have been a lot smoother/enjoyable.

So on this afternoon while sitting around trying to breath through my plugged up nose, listening to the Hubs paint the walls, I just feel so lucky.  My life is by no means perfect but the more I figure out how to be an adult the more I am finding that it's not about life being perfect, it's about finding the good and keeping the faith that you really are destined for happiness.

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